Articles of Adhesion
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The following Duck Tape Club™ guidelines (heretofore referred to as "Articles of Adhesion") should be read carefully and understood by all new Duck Tape Club members. Failure to do so could result in the underutilization of Duck Tape® -- and, as a result, we human beings may not achieve our full potential. You don't want to be responsible for that, do you?

1. I solemnly swear to use Duck Tape, all varieties of Duck Tape, and nothing but Duck Tape.
   
   
2. I will never underestimate the power of Duck Tape.
   
   
3. Duck Tape is the power. I am the direction. Together, there is no limit to what we can accomplish.
   
   
4. I will always be willing to share my Duck Tape. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
   
   
5. Now that I have Duck Tape in my life, my perspective will change. I will see everything as "taped", "needs tape", or "will need taping."
   
   
6. I will have a roll or a packet of Duck Tape on my person at ALL times… no exceptions. Absolute devotion to the "Duck" is required.
   
   
7. I will always carry backup supplies of Duck Tape. Walk softly and carry a big roll.
   
   
8. I will always tear my Duck Tape straight and true…"strings" or incomplete tears are not acceptable.
   
   
9. I will not waste Duck Tape (even if it folds over onto itself and adheres prematurely). In the case of a P.F.O. (premature fold-over), I will take whatever time necessary to save this piece for proper use.
   
   
10. In the tragic case of a N.P.F.O. (non-retrievable premature fold-over), hats will be removed, a moment of silence will be observed and the piece will be given a proper burial with full Duck Tape honors.

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